Picture it: The Internet, 2026.
I’m knee-deep in a version of Facebook comment hell that I may or may not have had a hand in creating. Men are all over the place crying about women like me who support Lindsay Clancy. As a woman who is following the case rather closely, I’m having trouble understanding where the outrage is stemming from. After a handful of exchanges and a little research, it hit me:
A lot of men—most, it seems—want to be looked at revered as The Good Guy™ (including but not limited to: The Good Dad™, The Good Husband™, The Successful Provider™). And that’s great, but far fewer of them are willing to put in the amount of effort it takes to earn that title. And who ends up picking up the slack the majority of the time? That’s right, ladies and gentlemen: the woman.
The Good Guy™ thinks he should win at life by default. He feels (say it with me) en-ti-tled to winning while simultaneously only putting in the minimum effort. The Good Guy™ is the deadbeat dad who blames the woman currently raising his child or children for the fact that he never sees those kids or pays child support. He’s the manchild who, the moment he gets home from work, manages to forget how to function as an independent adult. He needs his meals made and served for him. He is incapable of making a medical appointment for himself. He knows no one's birthday and never buys a gift, and yet his name is always on the card. Others lean into “providing” so hard that they become “workaholics” and subsequently absent partners and parents. All the while, in every one of those examples, the woman is usually doing all the work to keep it together—to get from today to tomorrow successfully.
What no one seems to care about is what happens to the person who absorbs all that invisible labor. If he’s a deadbeat, she’s working multiple jobs to make ends meet. If he’s a manchild, she’s busy taking him to doctor’s appointments, managing his medications, serving him all his meals while also managing his extracurriculars and work commitments. Sound familiar? Yeah, because she does the same for her other kids. And that last woman, she’s doing everything, getting spread way too thin, and she’s got no one to talk to about it. Worst part? No matter how she handles any one of these situations, she’s going to get dragged through the mud and ridiculed for it. Is this fair? No. Has this been normalized? Yes.
Now, about that worst part: All of the above assumes the woman even wanted to be a mother to begin with. If she didn’t and she has the misfortune of residing in a state where abortion is not legal, she’s forced to at least become an incubator, surrendering control of her own body for the better part of a year. And while society venerates motherhood and mothers superficially, very few recognize the work it actually takes to raise another human being in 2026. Mental health is critical until it’s a new mom struggling with postpartum depression. New moms should be taken care of, coddled even, right? That’s valid until she asks someone to watch her baby because she needs a shower so badly. Given what I’ve outlined above about all those supposed good guys out there, no matter which way you cut it, new moms are carrying a lot. Even with a good, present, and empathetic partner, she’d still be struggling and that’s NORMAL.
So I guess a lot of what I’m trying to say comes down to this: When we see someone drowning in a pool, we don’t stop to contemplate which decision got them into this predicament; we help. At least that’s what a person who has developed empathy would do (i.e. an actual, certified Good Guy™). When a woman asks for help, you connect her to real medical professionals with good track records and reputations. You go this extra mile because you intend to help and not do harm. When a mom tells you she’s afraid she’ll hurt her kids, you don’t leave her alone with the kids. You step in and you protect the children. That last part should be ringing in your ears because everyone’s ALWAYS CRYING about “protect the children.”
I wrote all this just to echo the words of the great Maya Angelou:
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
Believe the words that are coming out of their mouth in real time.
And with that, I give you today’s Movie Clip O’ the Day: Marriage Story