So I’m poking around, being virtually social on the internet--don’t judge me--when a familiar memeism that I’ve been seeing a lot of lately, pops up.This particular incarnation of the Girls Like Jerks memism was a whole lot of:
“Oh you silly girls, you’re only sad & lonely because you want romantic love, yet you seek out jerks to date instead of dating me. So, inevitably you’re going to get crapped on and I’ll be lonely and you’ll be sad & lonely, and those guys...Those Jerk Guys will have an inkling of a Mona Lisa smile, crawl across their faces whilst they have their morning pee and then neglect to put the seat down--at your place."
Maybe I’m seeing these sorts of sentiments all over the social mediaverse lately because the end of the year is approaching and folks tend to break up just before the holidays to avoid awkward gift giving.
Indeed, timing may have prompted this surge of meme psychoanalysis, though I can’t say for sure. The gem below, however, annoys me on multiple levels. Rather, the men who actually function with this kind of mentality, swishing around in their skulls, annoy me.
It’s ok if you LOLed a little, who doesn’t when Jackie Chan makes that face? Nevertheless, once the giggles subside, the ire sets in. Going through the Bad Boy phase is like a right of passage for a lot of women. Keep in mind, however, that for most women it’s just a phase. We date a bad boy, get burned and learn that they’re not worth the troubled baggage they bring. Through this process, most women evolve to seek out a more compatible partner, someone who’ll make us laugh, spark spirited debate, and is our equal in the sack.
I suppose the main issue I have with this meme is that it's based off the premise that women hate dating nice men. As a woman, I'm here to tell you that we don’t. Surprise! We’re not all masochistic whores. I will concede that sometimes we accidentally take an nice person for granted, but then, who doesn’t?
It is imperative for single men to realize is that it’s not that women avoid nice guys, women just don’t like losers--no one does. The fact that a bunch of you dudes can’t distinguish the difference between a nice guy and a loser is nobody’s fault but your own.
Actually, I suppose I could be more understanding of the confusion because I myself have dated someone who was clearly kind of a loser, thinking,” well at least he’ll be nice,” only to realize later that he wasn't. It turns out, actual losers come in many different packages, for example:
•Man who has many kids yet doesn’t seem concerned about child support. •Man who cannot stop staring at the fantastic haircut he just got. (It makes his bone structure just pop.) •Man who is insanely rude to servers and brusque with old/frail people. •Man who constantly borrows money. •Man who blames world for every last one of their problems. •Man who will never find a woman as good as his mother. •Man who cannot stop going to jail. •Man who hits women
...you're a loser.
So lonely memesters, when you get dumped by the latest girl, you might want to pause for a second and make sure you’re not actually just a loser who will die sad and unnoticed.
Nice guys - work dutifully to not suck, be interesting, thoughtful and funny because while alone time is good for the soul, solitary confinement will extinguish it’s light.