No-Cussing Zone


Originally posted May 7th 2008

A couple of weeks ago I was perusing the news on my lunch break when I came across the nifty little article below by way of a link on MSNBC's home page that mentioned something about a no-cussing zone.

California community declares itself a cuss-free zone.

As you may have guessed, any link with reference to cursing is sure to snag my attention so I was quick to click. Once I started reading I immediately noticed that my body temperature began rising. Instantly I realized I probably had an opinion on the matter.

Here's to you McKay Hatch for proclaiming your douchebaggedness to South Pasadena and the country as a whole.

Hats off fuck face!


"That's one of the purposes of this," Mayor Michael Cacciotti said of his city's proclamation designating the first week of March as No Cussing Week. "It provides us a reminder to be more civil, to elevate the level of discourse."

Click the link above to read the full text of the original Associated Press article.

I can’t publish it here.

Do it.  Read.

Then, come back so we can discuss.  And by discuss I mean, you continue reading below.



Where oh were to begin... Let's go against the grain and begin at the end shall we? Why at the end? This way I can start by ripping McKay Hatch a new one where he needs it most, Tarantino style.

The first time I read over this article a couple of questions kept popping in my head: doesn't this go against the whole freedom of speech thing? Don't the amendments have my back? For the most part yes, if I want to sing about how horny I am and make millions off my proclamations of lust, I'm covered. So I guess the Bill of Rights is doing its job as best it can. Also, after having read through a bunch of legal websites, doing the Wikipedia tango and asking friends for clarification it seems that if these types of proclamations/laws/rules are not enforced, then they are not infringing upon anyone's rights and therefore are not illegal. As it turns out, creating a rule so residents can frown upon you is lame, not illegal.

And now, let's dissect this article and inspect the bits that infuriate me. Who am I kidding; the font on the page offends me as it too plays a part in communicating the stupidity that is a 14-year-old's self righteous proclamation.

I suppose, however; that if no one's going to enforce ridiculous rules/laws like the one in the article, then it's a non-issue right?  Maybe, but it pisses me off to know that people are still this misguided and simple.

Firstly, individuals do not need a proclamation to be reminded to be civil. What they need is a swift kick in the pants from their parents and/or guardians when they are in their formative years. Its simple, when your kid is being a little shit, smack them, embarrass them, do what you need to do to ensure they do not proceed to grow into a sizable waste of space and affront to all other humans.

A no cussing-zone will not save children from growing up to be uncivilized and tactless; only parents, guardians and their own common sense can help them with that.

Second and most importantly, you people who are "above" cursing and find it disgusting are pitiable.  Seriously, if your life is so straightforward and basic that you believe cursing to be a completely invalid form of expression then I guess maybe you're lucky in a pathetic way. Go on, live gleeful in your state of complete oblivion, but have the courtesy to not expose me to your high-horsedness because it offends me.  Civility; who knew it was a two-way street?

How about we revisit a few lines from the above article in order to proceed?

"[McKay Hatch] understood why his friends use foul language: "They just want to fit in like everybody else and they don't know how. They figure if they cuss maybe it's an easy way to do that."

But it wasn't for him.

"I finally told my friends, ..I don't cuss.' And I said, ..If you want to hang out with me, you don't cuss.'""

And now I'd like to communicate my third point to Mr. Hatch directly:

You little asshole; NO, kids don't use foul language to fit in; they use drugs and have sex to do that.  If you had any non-imaginary friends and weren't the school loser, you might know this.

Oh and way to go, forcing your infantile doctrine on innocent children.  Maybe you'll be the kid that finally get public schools to require students to wear uniforms.

So dear reader, curse to underscore the emotional investment in the words you're speaking.  Curse when you cannot think of any other way to express your pain.  Curse when you're consumed with rage or sadness.  Say what you feel needs to be said and say it in a manner that will have the impact you desire.  I won't judge you for using foul language.  I'll leave the judging to hypocritical assholes who don't realize that discourse can be elevated by becoming more knowledgeable in the designated topic and not by discarding an entire set of words that form intricate parts of colloquial and even formal speech and literature.

With that said I leave you bitches to go re-read my copy of Catcher in the Rye.  ^.^