Maybe hate is the wrong word. Hate requires more effort than I think this should involve. I do have a defined dislike for Anne Hathaway though and judging by what I’ve read online lately, hating her is cool. The hipsters did it first, yet I’m not sure when this tide turned; nonetheless, today the world loves to hate Anne Hathaway. Even fairytales can be fickle it seems. I had been exited for this post for a few days now and I am not sure why today, when I was scheduled to write it out, my mind went blank. All I managed to get down, before the writer’s block solidified, was the title and most of that first paragraph above. As my thoughts on Hathawaygate stalled, I found myself fruitlessly staring at white space, awaiting the materialization of groups of fonts that meant something. After about an hour of this, I went looking to see what the rest of the internet was saying about our good friend, Anne.
I asked Google where the internet stood on Hathawaygate and she responded, enumerating her statistical solution and reassuring me that the internet was still hating on ‘lil old Anne Hathaway. It did appear, however, that the unifying anti-Hathaway front, was beginning to show some cracks. The following link was the top of Google's list of results:
I know, I’m just as shocked as you are. I didn’t expect us (the internet) to be so fickle with our fickleness. Don’t worry; I’m disappointed too.
Welp, Google says you’re #1, Angela Trusty. Looks like Google and I are just going to have to agree to disagree on this one, because I think you’re full of shite.
Normally, I’d be in accordance with someone that suggests folks not concern themselves with the dealings of a professional pretender. Nevertheless, I can’t agree with Angela’s advice, in this instance. I will always hate on a woman that’s empirically talented, yet won’t stop until she obtains some misguided approval of character.
I feel like Hathaway got a pretty sweet deal, and lucky for her, she was also smart enough not to fuck it up. What I don’t get is, why she cares if we find her likeable? Sure you could say it’s financial at its root, but that would be simplistic. What I’m saying is that Hathaway is clearly a well prepared individual, so it irritates me that she can’t just own her arrogance.
Own your arrogance the way you own the fuck out of those oversized facial features, Anne. Accept that you will likely not be surprised every time you win an acting award. And while you’re at it, get someone to write you better speeches because if you keep improving upon your talents, you’ll likely be getting more awards and opportunities to spawn further hate.
You are clearly not this awkward, insecure, darling, elfin thing that you portray every time you climb a stage to accept an award. You’re a great actor, you’re smart and you’re strong. It offends me that you think I would buy such a pathetic act. It insults me that you think you know what I will find likeable. It ticks me off that you think you can and should, try to trick me with your talents.
What I’m saying is, don’t try to fake a Sally Field. It’s painfully obvious when you do. That kind of enthusiasm for the moment can’t be faked. Pulling these kinds of stunts will just make me, and the rest of the internet, hate you more.
If you’re an arrogant, sometimes bitchy, accomplished and driven woman, don’t apologize for that, make me respect you for it. Don’t conjure a personality you think I’ll find likeable, be yourself because that’s the most important lesson life has to offer aside from love, right?
Hell, Angelina was dealt a good hand when she subsequently pissed on it; so, you’re in good company. However, keep in mind that you didn’t see Jolie make a run for Pathetic Hills when the women of the world called for her stoning, after Angie went all home wrecker on everybody. Have a goddamn backbone, Hathaway. Who gives a shit what anyone (outside of you) thinks of your character?
Look, J Law doesn’t happen to everyone. All women aren’t born with the capacity to be mind-blowingly awesome to both men and women simultaneously...
Weep with the rest of us here on the sidelines; it will be OK, I promise. Life does not need to be perfect; it just needs to not suck long enough to smell the roses.
For the record, I don’t think anyone’s trying to figure out why they hate Anne Hathaway, Ms. Trusty. I think we’re attempting to figure out why she insists on trying so hard to be liked, that we radiate embarrassment for her whenever she makes an acceptance speech. That’s right, Angela, we don’t hate the idea of the Hathaway; we hate THE Hathaway.
Angela Trusty is wrong when she makes the assumption that all us Anti-Hathaways hate the actress because we’re jealous of her hair, love life, money or good looks. I don’t sincerely envy Anne’s life or bank account. I envy her voice, the broad reach of her message. What I resent is that you, Ms. Trusty, thought this was a catfight simply because we’re both girls. If Anne could just level with us when she wins Oscar’s for her work, we’d likely not shake our pitchforks so furiously at her. Being sure of oneself isn’t a sin, even if you’re a woman.
It turns out hate is the right word, guys. I hate when people assume I’m not aware of their trickery. I guess it’s OK to hate as long as you don’t get lost in it. Either way, I’m going to try owning all of my feelings for a while, instead of just the warm and fuzzy ones. We’ll see where that gets me, because I already know denial is an ugly place to get lost.
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