Not Breaking, but Interesting News
18 May 2015
This started out as the most fascinating thing I’d read all day and then quickly turned into the most terrifying thing I’d read all day. A positive outlook is a tough one to nail down, guys.
Goddamn, it’s been so long that I’d almost forgotten what accountability smelled like. In case you’re wondering, it smells like responsible 401k fees and freedom.
The Internet never ceases to amaze. We are the Internet, y’all. We can do amazing things. Unfortunately, those things oftentimes require getting up, putting on pants and going outside. I’m sorry.
Superficial charm flourishes in our world, but the good stuff, the stuff this article’s about, really is alarmingly scarce. Maybe it’s because people forgot that actual charm takes a good deal of effort. We can’t all be naturals.
Cool. How long do you think before the first female Pope? Can’t be long now, right? (PS – A global religious leader had to go on record in 2015 to remind his male followers that they should listen to women sometimes. I hope all those people who are convinced that feminism is an extreme and unnecessary, group-think reaction to a completely fabricated situation that us women make up in our heads, are paying attention.)
If I got caught in a spider storm I think I might genuinely pee myself and possibly cry out of frustration, fear and sheer panic. Yep, I’m pretty sure that’s how that would go.